Four self-help books that aren’t terrible.

Confession time: I don’t like self-help books. I’m old fashioned and prefer to manage my mental health myself, without anonymous advice. I find many self-help books to be filled with flowery, unhelpful language that bears no resemblance to my life, let alone anything will help me to mend it. I usually end up falling asleep, which isn’t helpful in any way! (except perhaps when I’m struggling to sleep)
But occasionally, I encounter a self-help book that turns out to be a good read. The following four books contain no flowery language or spiritual mumbo-jumbo, only clear and honest advice.
If you’re like me and shudder at the self-hell section in the library or your local book shop, give these a try:

The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck

Martha Beck cleverly uses the plot of Dante’s Inferno as a framework of breaking down the process to attain personal integrity. Integrity is an important part of my working life and my personal life, so this interesting device hooked me right from the beginning. Integrity in the context of this book is about living as your true self, and discovering what that looks like for you. It is about recognising what we actually want, versus what our culture tells us we should be.
This book showed me that I should listen to the inner voice that told me I wanted to explore writing creatively. Writing for me is not about a career or earning money, but my sense of personal integrity told me that it is what I should be doing with my life. So here I am, a writer – self-published, but a published author, nonetheless.
And for that reason alone, this book deserves a place on the list.

Happy by Fearne Cotton

For the benefit of non-UK readers, Fearne Cotton is a radio, television and podcast presenter, but also a passionate wellbeing campaigner. Happy is one of a series of books she has written on wellbeing subjects (the others include Calm and Quiet).
Fearne’s style is chatty, personable and upbeat – as an open and honest sufferer of depression, she draws on her personal experiences and steers clear of excessive spirituality or language that confuses the reader.
The focus of Happy is on letting go of perfect, and this is something I know all about! As women, we often feel the pressure to be perfect: the perfect weight, perfectly beautiful, the perfect employee, wife, mother, sister or friend. Fearne’s approach teaches us that this of course is rubbish, and that perfect doesn’t exist. Instead, we should focus on finding small amounts of joy in each day.
Perfect is boring, anyway!

The Depression Cure by Dr. Steve Ilardi

I read this in the dark days of early 2020, when I was struggling desperately with my mental health, and badly needed good advice (but was unable to seek it from family and friends as the world was in lockdown).
Dr Steve’s approach is simple, straightforward and practical. He advocates 6 key lifestyle pillars, many of which are right there in front of us. We just need to summon the willpower to incorporate them into our daily lives, even in small doses. Implementing them all (taking small steps at first) can, says Dr Steve, lead to a life free from the prison of depression and remove the need to take anti-depressants.
The 6 pillars are:

• Physical exercise
• Omega-3 fatty acids
• Natural sunlight exposure
• Restorative sleep
• Social connectedness
• Meaningful, engaging activity
  This book won’t produce instant miracles and relies on the reader to put the work in themselves. But if you are prepared to do that, I speak from personal experience when I say that you will reap the benefits.

French Women Don’t Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano

Not technical a self-help book, but a good option if you struggle with binge eating, weight issues or even body dysmorphia.
This is a book I first enjoyed as young adult, when I was struggling with being gifted big hips, a curvaceous figure, other large assets, and an even bigger appetite. Although now a comfortable size 10, it is safe to say that there is a fuller figured woman in me beckoning to come out! Mireille Guiliano writes beautifully about “The French Paradox”, the secrets that French women use to stay a healthy weight.
French Women Don’t Get Fat isn’t a diet book. It is a book that provides practical advice on eating with balance. French women enjoy all things in moderation, including alcohol. Eating well is about eating seasonally, eating small-medium portions, and no restriction: simply keeping our bodies healthy with delicious, fresh food, and moderate exercise. I still practice much of its advice today.
And try the chocolate mousse recipe: it is divine!